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Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Challenges

As with everything, there are challenges to raising a child bilingual. However, this is a choice that I am sticking with (gosh darn it!). As a new parent I have recently started to give myself a break. At first I beat myself up over not cloth diapering when he was first born. Now, I think that it was the best decision, because we do not have laundry in our place. Then I beat myself up for not letting him CIO, and the list goes on. I have become more relaxed about some of these things. But, there is one thing I will consistently beat myself up over and that's speaking in English to Nesta.

The most challenging time was Christmas. We were so excited to go to Brown County to visit my in-laws, and to see everyone we only see once a year. I was excited for Nesta to see everyone and for everyone to see how much he had changed. I did not realize that being around English speaking folks would really throw my game off. Even my mom was speaking in English to Nesta. She doesn't speak English often. I would be having conversations with one of my sisters-in-law and then I would turn to Nesta and tell him something in English. I caught myself many times and switched quickly to Spanish, but I felt incredibly guilty. Everyone was really great and kept asking me how to say snow in Spanish and so on. I don't think is affected him greatly that mama spoke in English to him, but I don't know that for certain. I did take this time as a learning experience. Now, I am more conscious of when I am around English-speaking folks and Nesta. I right away switch to Spanish when I speak to him because that's what I want him to do. I want him to look at me or anyone who speaks in Spanish and speak in Spanish to them. I also want him to turn around and look at Dad or anyone who speaks English and speak in English to them. Perhaps that's too much to ask for, but I'm his parent and I have high expectations of the little dude. Mainly, I have high expectations of myself. It is my responsibility to teach him to do this.

One of my biggest fears is to speak in Spanish to Nesta and to have him respond to me in English. I think I will cry if he does that. I was just recently at my cousin's house and she too is raising her children bilingual. She is also a dual-language teacher. Her child spoke to her in English while I was visiting. My cousin told her child that she could not understand what she wanted and to please speak in Spanish. Her child responded in English one more time, and my cousin asked her again to speak in Spanish. The third time her child responded in perfect Spanish and from that moment on she spoke in Spanish to her mom. 
I'm sure this scenario happens to her often, and I liked the way she dealt with it. I hope that if this happens to me that the solution is the same. Still, I hope my child knows who to speak in Spanish to.

Something that I thought might be a problem is the fact that my husband and I speak in English to each other. I don't want Nesta to think that Spanish is just the language between Nesta and mama, but then I realized that I speak in Spanish only to my mom. I have also made sure that Nesta hears me speaking in Spanish to other people. This is the reason I take him to Story Time at Multilingual Chicago. This is the reason why whenever a cashier at Target or Whole Foods decides to practice their Spanish with us I welcome it. My mother usually congratulates anyone who speaks in Spanish to her and I find that funny and awesome. My husband and I were once talking about the books we read to him at night. When my husband mentioned that he had been reading books in Spanish to Nesta I cringed. I wanted to tell him (maybe I did) that he should stick to English since that is the language he knows best, but then I thought that he might be learning Spanish by reading these books to Nesta. 

Nesta and Dad over Christmas break (12/2012)

I'm sure there will be more challenges as he grows and I teach him the alphabet in Spanish, and then to read in Spanish. I am not sure what my husband will do then. Right now when I teach Nesta something like "right" and "left" my husband echoes in English. We're new at this, and I am not sure if this is the right way. Right now this is the way for us.

2 comments:

  1. Cris, recuerda que por acá decimos "cada maestrito tiene su librito", así que efectivamente, eso es lo que les funciona a ustedes, así que seguramente les irá bien. Ya lo sabrás cuando Nesta comience a hablar. Yo trabajé en una escuela de idiomas donde el director era de origen francés. Se había casado con una mexicana y hablaba un perfecto español. Sin embargo, a su hija le hablaba solamente en francés. Él y su esposa hablaban en español siempre. A MENOS que no quisieran que nosotros les entendiéramos, jaja! No me quedé ahí lo suficiente como para saber qué tal les resultó, pero también conocí otro caso donde un amigo le hablaba exclusivamente en francés a su hijo y al menos a los seis años (la última vez que los vi), el niño solamente entendía a su papá, pero no le gustaba hablarlo. Cada familia es una historia diferente. Personalmente, creo que están haciendo muy buen trabajo :)
    Ah, y no sufras mucho con eso de que "sea un lenguaje exclusivo entre Nesta y mamá". La verdad (como te puse en otro comentario), cuando yo era pequeña era muy emocionante pensar que mis papás y yo teníamos un lenguaje "secreto", jojo...

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    1. Gracias Myra!! uno nunca sabe hasta que los chamacos empiezen a expresarse.. ya veremos!

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